Mother’s Day 2013

It’s been pretty quiet here for a while.  Some of you know that we lost our Mom on February 14 of this year.  She was 82.

Mom was an avid bird feeder.  Most of the pictures of the birds at feeders that I have posted here were taken at her feeders.  Whenever Mom or Dad had a health problem, we had to make sure somebody was there to put the bird feeders out in the morning and take them in at night.  If they weren’t brought in the raccoons would get into them. Those feeders and her feathered friends were so important to her.  Dad still feeds them, even after all of the grumbling over the years.

Mom had rheumatoid arthritis and spent most of her last few years in a wheel chair.  The drugs given for the pain or mobility began to take a toll on her health many years ago.  She was strong, and while her joints were crippled and painful, she always got up to dance at the grandchildren’s weddings.

She missed the last couple of weddings.  She wasn’t able to travel to Virginia for Jared & Laura’s wedding, and she died before Becky & Kris’s wedding last month.  She was greatly missed at both.

But there is more to this woman that only some of us know.  Mom spent four years at the Seaside Sanitorium because of tuberculosis from the time she was four until she was eight.  It wasn’t in her lungs, it was in her glands.   Back then, they had them run around in their underwear even in winter, she told us, because they thought the cold would cure them.  She tested positive all of her life after that but it didn’t cause a problem until she needed to take one of the arthritis drugs.

Her father died when she was young, I’m thinking she said she was four, but I’m not sure.  Mom’s mother didn’t remarry until I was a baby so Grandpa Armand was the only Grandfather I remember.

When I was 13 or 14 I wanted my ears pierced.  I mentioned it many times (they said no), but while I don’t remember that no to be a lot of resistance (believe me, I wouldn’t have done this otherwise), it didn’t happen.  One day, I decided to take it upon myself.  I threaded and heated the needle, put ice on my earlobes, and pierced my own ears, and left string in the holes.  The next day, I encountered no resistance, nor did I suffer any retribution.  Mom brought me to buy 14K gold earings to put in the holes I made.  I took care of them, she made sure I put alcohol on them twice daily and turned them several times.

When she couldn’t cook for holidays any more, we brought the holidays to them.  The last few years, decorating Grandma & Pop’s Christmas Tree was one of the days most looked forward to by all of the grandchildren and great grandchildren.    She would sit in her chair and supervise to make sure we were careful with the special ornaments, and she would oversee their storage when Christmas was over and we took the tree down.  We did the cooking for the holidays, and they went on as planned, and she was always surrounded by family.  We were lucky to be so close.

When you lose someone who is so much a part of your life, many moments bring thoughts of things that you should be doing, or would be doing if they were still here.  Our daughter Krista would bring coffee to Grandma on her way home from work (Krista works nights at Hartford Hospital) while she was at Cherrybrook in rehab.   Mom came home only a few days before she died, so afterward on Krista’s ride home from work in the morning, she kept wanting to stop and get Grandma a coffee and bring it by.  Those things happened with all of us.

This Mother’s Day she is really missed.   She is still with us, though.  She’s with us in our food, in our families, and in our lives.

She was with us in April when Otis, our daughter’s family’s dog reached up on the stove to get the left-over piece of whoopie pie birthday cake after breaking out of his crate while we were out, turned a burner on that was under the box, and pulled the burner out of its connections (so it wouldn’t burn the house down) trying to get the cake.   He got the cake.  She’s probably getting around much easier.

Our daughter Jessica is planning the Mother’s Day celebration this year.  Jessica has learned from the best how to throw a great feast, and we all look forward to it.  She and her husband Alex are expecting a son, due October 6, Mom’s birthday, another gift.

So we’re not gone, we didn’t leave, we’re just re-centering, with Mom in our hearts.  So here are the pictures of Mom throughout the years, starting as a young girl, a heartthrob, a bride, a Mom and many times over, and as an old person who is a mother of old people.  This old person.  I love you Mom.

Mom as a young girl

Mom at 18 years old

Mom & Dad

Mom & Me October 1950

Mom & Dad dancing at my wedding in April of 1969.

Mom at Christmas in 1969.

Mom and Jessica

Mom directing Christmas Eve dinner with my sister Penny in 2011